Grading Obama's First Year

by Smitty

Frank J's report card has some problems:

• Barack didn't bow to the King of Norway
• Picking on BHO's ears is about as appealing as picking his nose.

Now, if we want to limit the discussion to lefty, Progressive nitwits, BHO weighs in with a "C". His attempt to sound vaguely equipped in the fortitude department at the Peas Prize speech kept him from achieving a full-on beta-male "B".

However, weighed against actual Presidents who were packin' the gear, e.g. George Washington, BHO is a fail of epic proportions. Screw Frank J's "D+ on the curve" nonsense.

The last century of "Theft: it's for the collective good" programs, aided by a de-furred SCOTUS that defers to Congress on every asshat Socialist idea that comes down the pike (first hit free, kids!) leave no room below.

F-

Go to impeachment. Go directly to impeachment. Do not pass "Go", do not collect $2,000,000,000,000 dollars.

Transportation Reform Will Trigger Economic Stimulus

by Smitty (h/t Make)

Coming soon to a garage near you. Right near you. Your own, in fact:

Nestled deep in H.R. 4173 is a provision for "Low Carbon Transportation Development". Taxes and deployment are restricted to red states. Benefits are seen to be:

• Reduced rubber usage.
• Elimination of unfit, bitter, clingy citizens.
• Training infrastructure requirements.
• Decreased hydrocarbon usage.
• Decreased food intake, as you and your teammate can't reasonably shop for more than four bags of groceries anymore.
• Increased Olympic cycling competitiveness.

Oh praise the Hope and Change regime!

EATEN BY WOLVES?

Charles Johnson's Little Green Footballs Calendar is now available -- just five easy payments of $39.95! Featuring brilliant anti-fascist photography and yummy scientific recipes, including Andrew Sullivan's "custard surprise."

ORDER TODAY!

UPDATE (Smitty): Yeah, we'll just be adding a screencap of that one...

Stacy was heard to scream "I was told this was a dancing lessonnnnn!"

UPDATE II: Rave reviews for the LGF calendar:

"Wonderfully vicious and delicious!"
-- Vanderleun

"It was bound to happen!"
-- Paleo Pat

ORDER NOW!

Cultural intolerance

Dan Collins on Tiger Woods:

Americans have little understanding or tolerance for the Cablinasians in their midst, instead preferring to attempt to impose their values upon this minority. Who is to say that in Cablinasian society it is considered bad form to prefer buxom blondes, or to enjoy threesomes behind one’s wife’s back, fueled by booze, Ambien and Cialis? . . .

Help fight Cablinasianphobia! (If you don't click that link, you're a hater!)

At last, the great mystery is resolved

John Galt of the blogosphere: "Who is Larwyn?"

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookkeeper.
Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening-wear.
I don’t perspire. . . . Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal force demonstration.
I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. . . .

Read the whole thing. Larwynmania to ensue . . .